Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Bananas in boats

The 1976 Economic Crisis of Great Britain all started off with a diary entry.

Diary of James Callaghan, Prime Minister of Great Britain
March 4, 1976 
Cheerio, Diary.
I've made a huge mistake.  The value of our economy is falling faster than the breasts of a grandmother and I don't know what to do, other than blame the French.  I could call the International Monetary Fund, but that's so "third world".

Following the journal installment, Mr. U.S. Treasury left a message.

"Hey, GB!  How's it going?  You get that package I sent?  I thought you might get a kick out of the Sea Monkeys.  And the orangutan pencil toppers have been sitting in my closet for months, and I realize the joke is outdated, but thought I'd send them anyway.  All that to say, saw the headlines this morning.  Sounds like you guys are in a bit of an economic pickle.  Listen, I don't want to be rude or anything, but...well, you know.  Our dollar is tied to your dollar, you lose we lose, su casa est mi casa, that whole bit, so if you could kind of get on the ball?  That would be great.  And, I didn't want to do this, but if you need money, let me know.  Then you can pay me back later or something.  Like by supporting me in some war or something.  We'll work it out then.  Anyway, kisses."

So while the world bank and the U.S. lent money, Idi Amin, the dictator of Uganda, had a bit more sense of humor.

Economic crisis, eh?
He sent Great Britain a behemothic shipload of bananas.
GB wasn't quite sure what to do with them.  But after all, it is what we do for them.  It makes vaguely rational sense.

So let's analyze.  We, the good ol U.S. of A. is in such a crisis.  And still buying cars and coffee in non-recyclable containers and iPhones and hookers.  We wouldn't take bananas if they sent them.  We are just so affluently arrogant. Prosperously pompous. Extravagantly egotistical. High and mighty and made of money.  Sorry, and thanks for the bananas.

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